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⚠️ Everything on this site is a potential KOL spoiler. Proceed at your own risk! ⚠️

Our analysis will fall under a few distinct types of posts:

  • First, we'll be posting up monthly IOTM overviews, giving you the scoop on what kind of speed ascension benefits you'll be able to derive from TPTB's newest releases. From time to time, we'll also post retro IOTM overviews, discussing old IOTMs both in the context of their own era as well as modern unrestricted play.
  • Second, we'll be posting quarterly path reviews, discussing how the path played and whether we liked it or not! As with IOTMs, we will periodically post reviews of old-timey paths, analyzing the path mechanics and digging in on our favorite (and least favorite) parts of the old meta.
  • Finally, we will occasionally post articles that are simply "speed ascension helpers", analyzing various quests, benefits, and strategies in ways that seek to bring knowledge of high level speed play to the masses.

We hope you enjoy the content!

Speedgame Analysis

Spring Shoes: Overview

February 23, 2024

Spring is here / a-suh-puh-ring is here / life is skittles / and life is beer! I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. I do --…

Black & White Apron: Overview

February 17, 2024

It was a little later than usual, by TPTB's (rather high) standards, but the 2024 IOTY dropped in late January, and it's a pretty…

Chest Mimic: Overview

January 3, 2024

With the backup camera leaving standard, many speedsters were wondering if we'd get a new copy source at some point in the coming year; we…

A Primer on Faxes & Summons

January 1, 2024

There are a ton of ways in KoL to summon monsters. Like, a ton. With italicized entries for standard items, a non-exhaustive list of the…

Candy Cane Sword Cane: Overview

December 1, 2023

It's a cane! It's a sword! It's a candyswordcane! You can whip out the sword in the middle of your fights... and other adventures. That…

Wardrobe-o-Matic: Overview

November 29, 2023

Whoa! This one came out of nowhere. With the Time Twitching Tower back, TPTB released a brand new item in the KOL Con Merch Table, at the…

Path Overview: Shrunken Adventurer

November 29, 2023

A large portion of the articles on this website are going to feature a hidden secret agenda, a little easter egg for careful readers. For…

Path Overview: 2CRS

November 27, 2023

Some paths are really, really simple. One small restriction here, a little boost there, a tiny tweak to the core mechanics there, et cetera.…

A Guide to Burning Leaves: Overview

October 31, 2023

This month's IOTM is about going outside and touching grass. And then, after you touch grass, collecting leaves and burning them to cinders!…

Bottled Green Pixie: a Retro Review

October 19, 2023

What bleats like a goat, shakes like a dog, and talks about how it was a total game-changer in a bygone era? No, it's not your hungover…

Jill-of-all-Trades: Overview

September 30, 2023

Remember the Jill-o-Lantern? You know, that familiar from 20 years ago that revolutionized KOL, with the bleeding edge combination of a…

Haiku Katana: a Retro Review

September 5, 2023

Katana so old / Reputation precedes it / Foes in a jumble. Okay, okay, I'm bad at haikus. Sue me. This one is an old mamma jamma, and here…

Book of Facts: Overview

August 31, 2023

Have you ever gotten into a hole on Wikipedia, where you spend hours upon hours digging into increasingly bizarre and unfathomable facts…

August Scepter: Overview

July 31, 2023

The August Scepter is a scepter you can use to cast skills. There are 31 skills you can cast, one for each day of August, the month of my…

Unrestricted Pulls

July 31, 2023

Over 20 years of the game's existence, there's a ton of extremely powerful pulls you can snag to help speed up your non-hardcore speedruns…

Patriotic Eagle: IOTM Overview

June 30, 2023

For one brief shining month in the 2023 Standard Set, TPTB put on their fancy Reds, Whites, and Blues and made the most patriotic IOTM of…