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2023-12-05 // Contest Overview

One year and more than several days ago, the venerable BinnyV and his compatriot, the benevolent VinnyB, attempted to demonstrate to the world that anagrams are funny by repeatedly riffing on OLIVER'S PLACE. That lead to the immediate and obvious question of: would it be funny if there was an entire year of standard where every IotM's name was an anagram?

We found that the answer was a resounding "yes". Read about it here! When you come back, this page will still be here for you.


OK, you're back! Great! The answer was such an incredibly resounding yes that we (Captain Scotch, Haxxi, ThreeBulletHamburglar, and dear ol' Sweaty Bill) have decided to do it again, because it's always funny to do something a second time.

The elevator pitch of the contest is this: come up with a short phrase or name that wasn't used last year and isn't an existing ASS meme IoTM, and anagram that up into twelve IotMs and one IotY (the seed phrase can be one of them). Then, turn those IotMs and IotY into an elevator pitch for us.

To mix it up a bit, we're introducing another element to it: we're telling you the three challenge paths and Crimbo theme for this hypothetical next year of standard that you're writing. While you don't have to do any IotM mechanical or thematic tie ins to the path, it'd sure be great if you did! These are:

  • Spring: Avatar of EIGHTFOLD NORTHERS
  • Summer: Build a HEFTIER STRONGHOLD
  • Autumn: The Fall of FORETOLD THRESHING
  • Crimbo: When it comes to the Stocking market, Abuela Crimbo has been SHORTING THREEFOLD

(Also, 1 million meat to the first person to name the seed phrase for these. Wait, nevermind, someone got it. This meat went to Panic Lord. Congratulations!)

The prizes are pretty much the same as last year: third place will be sent a Jurassic Parka; second will receive a BoFa, a Wardrobe, and a CMC; and the winner will get a custom title and a Crimbo Elfling. No big deal or anything. Not like any of those are extinct. No way. What?

The submission deadline is the rollover that takes place on the 5th of January, KoL-time. Judgement will proceed in the weeks to follow, and winners will be announced shortly thereafter.

Please submit all entries through this beautiful google form, painstakingly handcrafted by Captain Scotch. At writing (Jan 4th), we have 11 entries. Finish your last stragglers soon!

Frequently Asked Questions

"How long should my elevator pitch be?"

It depends upon how tall a building you live in. We'll be judging these on, among other things, how funny they are, how well written they are, and how interesting they are mechanically. It's hard to get a lot of stuff in there in only a sentence or two. Then again, if you have a lot of really really long entries, it could become a slog. I would look over last year's entrants and winners to get a feel for it.

"Can you tell me anything about the paths? or Crimbo?"

No. You can make up any details you feel are relevant. I personally think it is funnier if you don't explain anything about it, but just have comments in passing like "The Rosier Footman also helps you harvest additional honey from monsters with feet in AVATAR OF THE GUY MADE OF BEES, BUT NOT THE BEES THEMSELVES" or "Despite the Big Mountains having been replaced with a large ham, you can still access the Eros Formation in PORK ELF REVIVAL." But whatever works best for you works best for you.

"Should the anagrams be the packaged or unpackaged forms of the IotM?"

Either. You don't even have to be consistent!

"How do symbols like (tm), (c), and (r) count?"

You can treat them as their constituent letters or you can treat them as nothing, but you've got to be consistent.

"Can I submit more than one entry?"

Unfortunately, this year we've decided you can't; this was partially brought on by both of Asmo's entries last year being so good that the judges were actually split on the better of the two. That being said, feel free to revise or re-submit if you change your mind and write something else. Or just share other entries in the thread without submitting them.

"Can you give us some quick rules clarifications?"

Of course! Everyone loves rules, and clarifications thereof.

  • It really does not matter, but if you care, the year of standard that you're writing is 2024 -- so there's only one workshed, there's a garden, there's no VIP or eudora, etc.
  • Mechanics matter less than names and jokes, but a mechanic that matches the name and joke is always great.
  • Anagram generators are allowed and encouraged. This is not a boggle tournament.
  • I guess don't write anything horribly racist? Or anything like that? Really hoping this rule goes without saying.
  • Please assign months to each IotM pitch--months lining up thematically with the IotM is bonus points (there are no points).
  • You cannot use any existing ASS meme IotMs.
  • Having fun is mandatory.

We hope you have a happy Crimbo, and an even happier entering-yourself-into-this-competition.

Love, Sweaty Bill & the ASS Team

Article contributed by Captain Scotch, Sweaty Bill, Haxxi, & 3BH